A show of hands: how many men here have found themselves in trouble for declaring that dancing is “not a sport”? Come on, boys, don’t tell me the skepticism hasn’t crossed your mind before the mob wife chases you around the kitchen with a rolling pin once you’ve admitted their short-lived ballet careers would have [...]
Between growing up in Brooklyn and growing up in theatre, it turns out that I’m better accustomed to a different definition of Queens. But while that particular type of “drag racing” assuredly transpires throughout all the outskirts of New York City, the other four boroughs appear to have more to hang their fish nets on [...]
Some would call three championships in four years a dynasty. Others could find it rather annoying. And still others might define it as a metaphor for abstinence…regardless, while you’re grasping for its true meaning, Fuppi is becoming unstoppable. The fantasy football season is wrapping up this Christmas weekend, as the fifth installment of the “paaboys” [...]
The Italian Trojan is finally local! Well, for now. But as the tri-state area’s chipper winter air horse-collar tackles my Hollywood, a great deal more has me overwhelmed besides this being my last school vacation before you – the pack of dogs I call my readers (or the scarce orphan puppies with eye patches) – [...]
11:30 A.M. Wednesday December 7th 2011: I am peering into my closet trying to decide which pants to wear. 11:45 A.M. Wednesday December 7th 2011: I am still doing the exact same thing – staring aimlessly into Narnia, at all of my pairs of hardly distinguishable blue jeans. It took me even longer (until now) [...]
I honestly do not know how to label this weekend of college football. I am at a loss for effectively descriptive titles or creative frames…I suppose I could brand “Safe Sex Saturday – Break Out the Condoms!” but it doesn’t quite rectify the ludicrous absence of the USC Trojans from significant action and I am [...]
Who knew a mediocre turkey dinner at Denny’s would still be comatose worthy? Or perhaps I remain hungover from the eggnog UCLA laid in our Coliseum this past Saturday night. Or maybe it has been a four-year inebriation of community I had never chugged before – one of pride that I have yet to swallow [...]
Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing and the 1992 Olympic basketball champions are still guffawing midway through November of 2011, and it’s not because Dr. Bunsen Honeydew tampered with the teleprompter so it would fire golf balls at Charles Barkley. The Philadelphia Dream Team squawks into Sunday Night’s rematch with the first place New York Giants at [...]
We are less than a week away, folks! No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving and remaining poultry’s annual futile attempt to join forces and thwart America’s month-long need to consume our bodyweight in meat sweat. And I’m not referring to the NFL’s elite Turkey Day lineup featuring the Not-So-Cowardly Lions and your fair share of [...]
In case nobody noticed, the date is November 13th, 2011. We are still here. We survived the lynching. But before you return to your canole platters, 11/11/11 did remember to wreak its astrological havoc on the sporting universe. NCAA basketball took prime advantage of a day almost no other sport desired to touch for fear [...]